


One Dildo to Go

by Nyx Midnight (nyxmidnight)



Category: OFF (Game)
Genre: Gen, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-10
Updated: 2013-07-10
Packaged: 2017-12-18 09:13:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/878151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyxmidnight/pseuds/Nyx%20Midnight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Batter comes into Zacharie's shop to find him selling a whole new set of items.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Dildo to Go

**Author's Note:**

> For the following prompt at the OFF Kink Meme:
> 
> _What if... Zacharie owned a sex shop and the Elsens were all a bunch of filthy little sluts? bonus points for Embarrassed!Batter._

"Not only do these anal beads inflate to triple the size, but with this remote, they vibrate as well! I also have found more of the cotton candy flavoured anal jelly you wanted... oh." Zacharie interrupted his sale to a nervous Elsen to greet the Batter briefly. "Hello amigo. Come on in."

The Batter wasn't sure he wanted to come in. When he had heard the Elsens talk about Zacharie being in town, he hadn't understood why they might care, but it was a godsend regardless, what with his dented bat. He had expected Zacharie to be in a corner of the Zone selling his wares, not... The Batter looked around. Whips, ropes, reproductions of penises in all shapes, sizes and colours, skimpy clothing, things he wasn't sure he wanted to know the purpose of. Not *these*.

"What is this, merchant?"

"Hm?" Zacharie asked as he counted the credits the poor mortified Elsen had handed over earlier. "This is my shop."

"You don't sell these things," the Batter bristled.

"Amigo, I sell things to those who have credits."

"But..."

"Do you have credits or not?" Zachary told the Batter as he accepted the Elsen's payment.

The Batter's expression grew colder as he finally strode in and put a handful of credits on the counter.

"Nooow we're talking," Zacharie almost purred at the sight. His recent Elsen customer grabbed his plain bag and made a dash for the door despite the danger of tripping and falling. Better tripping than being around the frightening Batter any longer. "What can I do for you, dear Batter?"

"I need a new bat." If he kept this brief and his gaze did not stray from the merchant's mask, the Batter figured he could escape this... shop of impurity faster.

"I have just the thing!" Zacharie said before ducking under the counter. The Batter tried to look over discreetly, but he was soon distracted by the stares of all the Elsens in the shop trying to be stealthy behind the shelves of... things. He was about to scowl at them when Zacharie reappeared.

"Here we are! Made from legendary maple, durable, 9 inches around at the barrel, 42 in total length."

There was a collective gasp from the Elsen customers.

The Batter immediately turned to growl at them, showing sharp teeth. "It's not what you think, you...!"

"Now, my friend," Zacharie grabbed the Batter's wrist to interrupt him, bat slung over his shoulder, "I love your credits dearly, but if you insult my customers I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

The Batter turned back around, glaring with all the strength of his four red eyes at the merchat's masked face. After several long seconds of stand-off, the Batter yanked his wrist out of Zacharie's grip, then angrily fished in his pockets for more credits to slam on the counter. "Is this enough?"

Zacharie leaned against the counter, almost seductively. "Keep adding. I'll say when."

After forking over enough credits to make the Player scream highway robbery, the Batter was finally able to leave the shop with his new bat, a bag of meat, and his very red face.

He would be back, Zacharie knew.

He had put a glass dildo in the bag.


End file.
